No Phony-Baloney

I have been having trouble choking my coffee down for a couple of days. Is my taster off, I wonder? Is my grinder dirty from old bean fragments? I clean it. Coffee still tastes bitter. Not what we’re used to around here. I am kind of finicky when it comes to my daily dose of caffeine. When the roofer asks, “What’s wrong with this coffee?” Then I know for sure something serious is amiss. Because he’s not nearly as particular on his coffee as I am. His actual taste in food in drink is probably the least exacting thing about this guy. The roofer’s bum taster is the product of a long forgotten broken nose.

Is the cream spoiled? Maybe just a moment past the expiration date so that it will ruin a cup of coffee without curdling upon contact? Nope. But wait a minute… what’s this golden emblem under the words “half-and-half”? “Fat free” it says. Yuck. I picked it up at an unfamiliar convenience store in a rush one day. They got me.

I am completely perplexed at how a product that is fat free can be packaged as “half-and-half.” Fat free defies the very nature of half-and-half. This doesn’t make any sense at all.

I don’t go around marketing our company and product as something it’s not. That sort of thing really burns me up. But I see it all the time. Roofing brokers we call them. They are simply sales machines that mask the reality of who they are. They act all “half-and-half” until the job is sold. Then your project is farmed out to the lowest bidding subcontractor. And from there it’s all “fat free.” Service, post install follow up, customer care – and usually satisfaction – go the way the fat. And it will leave you bitter.

Selecting a roofer is a lot bigger commitment than the cream in your coffee. That’s all the more reason to take your time, ask lots of questions and do your research. Check out their reputation with the state licensing board and the regional Better Business Bureau or other consumer friendly websites. Ask friends or relatives for a good recommendation. Keep an eye on the fine print. And select a contractor that represents himself honestly. Then you’ll be able to relax and enjoy a smooth brew.

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